Is that the best you can do?

It's true, I haven't been posting much -- considering where I am. I'm not really sure why that is. Lord knows I have little enough else to do with my free time. Although I did start a whole new novel (my agent will probably not thank me for this), rather than continuing with the one I'm half way through. That's consuming a lot of my creative energy for the moment, so perhaps that accounts for some of the lack of activity.

Another reason, though, is that I don't want to complain too much on this blog, and I've had a very frustrating week. In any workplace, it's frustrating when the people around you don't do things the way you think they ought to. When you're in the business of life and death, however, it's downright infuriating. I try very hard to choose my battles, and to take deep breaths and recognize that there are just some hiccups that are endemic to working in Africa. But a fire-breather like me has a lot of trouble not... well, breathing fire.

This place is like a classroom that hasn't had a teacher. And I want to be the teacher from Bridge to Terrabithia -- the pretty one who is infinitely laid back, plays the guitar and earns the fathomless loyalty of all her students. But instead I have to be the teacher with the severe bun in her hair and the thick horn-rimmed glasses (not the cool kind). I have to wield a ruler and... OK, let me drop this increasingly tired metaphor. You get my point.

So part of my silence is the desire not to say something I'll regret later. Another thing is that, well, I don't get out much. It's not like there's much to do, and what little there is may not be available to me. For example, I was recently lectured (kindly) by our cook when I went out to the only drinking establishment in town. This was, apparently, undignified of me, because I am "la grande dame". She told me that the local staff might not respect me if I behaved in this way, hanging out with them casually and drinking beer. Uptight as that may sound to my Western sensibilities, I have to take this warning seriously. G. is a local, and a clever one at that. She knows the local customs, and if my behaviour is perceived in a certain way -- no matter how silly that may seem to me -- it's important that I take that into account.

So I watch a lot of DVDs, play some video games, and write my book. And while that might give me a lot of time to blog, it doesn't give me very much to say.