Lockdown

Dear Pastor Jones,

I just wanted to thank you so much for everything you're doing down there in Gainesville. Somebody needed to stand up to those terrorists and show them what American values are all about. Somebody needed to prove that the terrorists haven't won, that America is still about freedom, tolerance and equality.

I hope those terrorists will see that good Christian folk will not stand for Americans being targeted by radical Islamists. At least not on American soil. If a few get picked off in Turkey, or Pakistan, or Iraq, thanks to your antics, well... that's not the point. The message you're getting across about interolerance and hate is too important not to broadcast.

I also wanted to thank you for giving me four days off. Since we're on lockdown out here in Islamabad because of the threat of retaliation for your holy deeds, I'll be lounging around at home for a while. So will my colleagues, who've been pulled in from the field, where they were busy saving lives. But don't you worry about that, because those were just Muslim lives anyway. Mostly.

Once again, thanks. I'm sure your message will be received in the spirit in which it was offered.

Sincerely,
Western Aid Worker