Panama

We’re just back from a brief vacation in Panama. There was no connectivity where we were, so I didn’t have a chance to do an entry. One afternoon, though, I did write down a few thoughts, so – ex post facto – here they are. Sorry it’s so disjointed; I was, um, well… there was beer involved.

“God, I wish I had a laptop.” After about the fifth time announcing this, D. handed me a pen and a bunch of printed out emails, the backs of which I’m writing on now, trying to curb some apparently incurable writing jones I’m having.

It may be the boredom. It’s the good kind of boredom, mind you – the kind of droopy-eyed, beer-infused, sun-drenched torpidity that comes with a beach vacation. Having a Caribbean island all to oneself – with no place to go and nothing that needs to get done – does not inspire one to great feats of exertion. Looping this pen around is easily the most energy I’ve expended all day. Even my handwriting looks lazy.

Did I mention we’re on vacation? Well it’s implied, surely; see above re: sun and beer. [Tipsy Tangent #1: have you ever tried Panamanian beer? It’s awful. At least research thus far, as conducted faithfully by yours truly, would suggest so. But to be fair, lager is not at its best when served tepid – as ours has been, despite the best efforts of the generator chugging continuously in a heroic but vain attempt to achieve something approximating genuine refrigeration.]

It’s my first time in Panama – or anywhere in Latin America for that matter. The island we’re staying on is one of several tiny coral atolls clustered near the Caribbean coast, near the border with Colombia. This area is the traditional homeland of the Kuna Indians – tiny, coconut-brown people with beaded ankles and parrot-coloured fabrics. We suffer a double language barrier here: their Spanish is not great, and ours is virtually non-existent. [Tipsy Tangent #2: When the Kuna realize you don’t speak Spanish, they say, “English?” rather like an accusation, then express palpable disgust when you confess sheepishly that, yes, you do share your mother tongue with the ill-behaved gaggle of American tourists that have terrorized these people into photo-phobia.]

Anyway. We came here in a 20-seater aircraft, a buzzing, rattling contraption about the size of a prehistoric insect, which shuddered over the tops of the low-lying mountains like a car with no shocks jolting along a gravel road. The place we were traveling to is incredibly remote, literally in the middle of nowhere. For miles at a stretch, the jungle below us was completely unmarked by civilization. It looked like one of those steaming, wild places they film nature videos in. Mist clung to the treetops, hinting at the shapes of the hills beneath like a muslin cloth draped over a cheeseboard.

The remoteness of the place means that although it’s beautiful, there’s really not much to do. We took a couple of boat trips, but were promptly driven off the beaches by biting sand flies. Yesterday we went snorkeling. Not much to see in the way of fish, but the coral was pretty interesting. The colours are muted – greens and yellows, mostly. But the shapes are pretty dramatic. Drifting over the reef is like flying low over some vast Jurassic jungle, colossal fronds reaching upwards, hiding the mysterious creatures beneath.

This whole area is really just one big reef, its islands little more than coral that has managed to reach above sea level. Most of the islands are barely the size of a football pitch, looking like the archetypal desert island – long, leaning palms and white beaches, the kind you’d expect to find buried treasure on. [Tipsy Tangent #3: Apparently it’s a myth that pirates buried much of their booty. More likely to find that sort of thing at the bottom of the sea, I’m told.]

Well, as of now I’ve officially spent too much time Not Drinking. That simply won’t do – I have so few obligations to uphold on this island, I really can’t allow myself to fall derelict on this one.

Hopefully I’ll have some photos to back this up soon; haven’t got around to downloading them yet.